My Phone

This is my phone.
Sometimes I don't get a lot of messages in it, and this makes me sad.
Sometimes I have too many messages in it and I have to delete some messages, this also makes me sad.
I like to keep the messages that make me happy, but sometimes I have to delete them as well. This can be very sad indeed.
Sometimes I delete all the messages in my phone because I want to start afresh.

Sometimes this can be cathartic.

But sometimes it is also sad.

Painting

Hello again. This is my favourite painting in the world. I found it in an art gallery in Edinburgh last year. It is by John Bellany.

I am not sure what this picture is trying to say, but that man does NOT look happy about having that fish on his head. Would you be happy if you had a fish on YOUR head? Probably not. Think about it. It would smell for one thing.

I wonder if the fish is dead or alive in this picture?
Either way it would smell.

Anyway, if you would like to find out more about the artist, you should visit his website:
http://www.bellany.com/, because I feel a little sneaky putting one of his paintings up if I don't link him.

So there we go. Respect for artists is important, because, one day, an artist might paint you, and if you do not show them any respect, they will make you look fat in the painting.

Trust me, I know.

The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round

I'm not sure how you feel but I feel really quite disturbed by the fact that the small cartoon bus on this poster has some kind of weird hand extension. It looks like it has been given the ability to sexually harass its passengers. Not cool man, not cool.

Kinder Egg #2

BEST Kinder Egg Toy EVER.

It's a ghost in a snorkel riding a turtle....in case you couldn't tell. Yeah.

Kinder Egg #1

The worst Kinder Egg Toy EVER.

What is it? I don't know. Don't ask me. I am as disappointed and bemused as you are. I think it was meant to fly. But it didn't. It crash landed though, that's for sure.

Actually contemplating writing a letter of complaint to the manufacturer*








*Not really - I have a life.

My Cat

My cat Barney is a charming and ridiculous creature who enjoys resting in the company of a small christmas tree in a flower pot.

What a lad.

Insect in the Bath

Today I found a strange and interesting insect in my bath. It was such an elusive and mystical creature that, when I tried to take a photo of it, it would only come out on film as an indistinguishable blur. For this reason, I have drawn an artist's impression of this extraordinary beast as I imagine it might look if viewed underneath a microscope. I have also used the incredible powers of my imagination, as well as some detailed research concerning insect communication and psychology, to determine what this critter might say, had it the ability.

Hence the speech bubble.

I must say I felt not unlike David Attenborough when compiling the pictures, research and text needed for this entry. Would you like to feel not unlike David Attenborough too? Perhaps you should go and look in YOUR bath and see what YOU can find!

Happy hunting!

Toaster

This may possibly be THE worst toaster in the world. It takes FUCKING AGES to toast.

And I am not a patient woman.

Lovers Walk

Today I walked down 'Lovers Walk'.

Unfortunately, there were no lovers to be found.

Postbox

I didn't know there was a postbox on Meridian Road. I will bear this in mind for future letter-posting purposes.